…months?

[apologies to Tori]

“You need that external motivation,” my therapist said yesterday.  I agreed. “There is no internal, well, anything. Just ain’t there.”  If I am not reminded of the dropped balls, I don’t even see them.  Not unless they are the ones that trip me.

I bought a chromebook during Prime Day (it was on Monday/Tues). One of my excuses was: I’ll use it to write! Okay, I am writing. I am actually in *Starbucks* writing on a laptop like a freaking cliche. But again, this is just more excuse driven behavior.   Did I come here to write? Was it for Happy Hour & half-price frappes? Or was it to leave the house, to force myself to pretend to be a person. Even a cliche is better than nothing.

I guess this is my voice. Sometimes.

And now I’m leaving. Because it’s closing time… Augh.